Every thought or experience we have creates an emotion followed by a physical response. All human behaviour becomes natural and instinctive at the unconscious level, beyond our conscious control. Negative emotions such as anger can cause stress, anxiety, headaches, poor sleep or digestive problems, and if not addressed can eventually lead to high blood pressure and heart problems.
Anger is the most destructive emotion, it is a primal urge and although aggression plays a natural part in our behaviour, anger is a secondary learned response, it’s triggered by something else our mind has already learned to react to, it could be a person, an object, a time of day, a situation, alcohol, perhaps the feeling that your expectations are not being met, or being misunderstood. Then there is an escalation, usually followed by a crisis, the shouting the accusing, the cursing, the hitting out, eventually, it plateaus and we become aware of ourselves, the dry mouth, the raised pulse, head exploding, the tight chest, then it can tip into a kind of depression, sometimes with feelings of hopelessness, melancholia, regret, exhaustion, or even guilt, sometimes with perhaps the need to make amends.
I wonder if any of this sounds familiar? If we suppress anger it internalises and has a negative physical effect on our body. if we express it we often say things we don't mean and may feel guilty later. It helps if we can understand other people. If we could step into another person’s shoes for a moment and truly understand the other person, what they have actually been through, we might have more empathy and more tolerance towards them. We wouldn’t become angry with people if we understood them emotionally as well as intellectually. It helps if we can learn to stand in other people’s shoes for a moment.
We are all products of our past learning’s and experiences, and often anger is caused by a past experience and happens instantly and autonomously. In anger, people often say or do hurtful things but they don’t necessarily understand the person, the situation, or the consequences of their own words or actions, whatever our feelings are, whether they are towards ourselves, or others, we need to change them, because holding on to feelings of guilt or anger serves no positive purpose, we just continue to be the victim emotionally and physically. Those emotions don’t improve anything, they don’t put things right, they don’t help you or anyone.
The most effective way I know for people to deal with anger or any negative emotions, is with Hypnotherapy, by putting certain past experiences into a new perspective, which easily and quickly teaches the unconscious mind new and more positive ways of reacting to people and situations.
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